November 27, 2009

2012

Have you watched it yet? What a load of ol tosh eh.

Why O why can't hollywood drop the stereotypes for once! Dsyfunctional family with the dad being the dsyfunctional one, hmmm never seen that before have we and oh yes of course one of the kids has issues with him but he comes good in the end! God how many times do we have to endure that story?

They could have done so much better with that material. As it is I don't believe the world will end in 2012 myself.

It's an Olympic year and the first time the UK has hosted them so that just would not be cricket would it.

Mark

December 25, 2007

Life: Merry Xmas

Hi All

I hope you have a merry xmas and a very happy and prosperous new year :)

Mark

July 4, 2007

Life: Bugs

Yes I know we have a double image bug thing going on :( We are trying to fix it but like most bugs it does not want to die just yet!

Mark.

November 19, 2006

Life: Blogging

Hi All

Sorry for the lack of posts recently :( I have been flat out with Stomper and the re-design of this site (amongst others) Hmmm too many projects on the go at the moment methinks! Back to normal soon I promise :)

Mark.

PS
Glad to see some of my readers are fellow stompers :)

March 29, 2006

Life: Holiday

If you're wondering where I have gone? Im on holiday In Dubai :) very nice it is too!

Mark.

February 24, 2006

Life: Life and Money

I have to say I am impressed at kent Police for assigning so many officers to just one case. You know the robbers that have just nicked 50 million from a kent warehouse! It does put in persepctive the establishments perspective though because they dont assign that many when someone gets murdered!

Mark.

January 1, 2006

Life: Happy New Year

Happy new year to all of you :) I hope 2006 will bring you even greater success than 2005 did.

Mark.

December 25, 2005

Life: Merry Xmas

The wife is away mucking out the horses and I thought I would sneak on here and Post an entry in my Blog wishing you all a very happy Christmas.

Mark.

October 27, 2005

Life: You feeling lucky Punk?

I have lost count of the number of people I have heard say they are just waiting for "The right opportunity" Or all they need is one small piece of luck!

During our time on this earth of ours, every man and woman will stumble across a great opportunity. Sadly, most of them will simply pick themselves up, dust themselves down and carry on as if nothing ever happened!

I don't want that to happen to you!

So I'm going to urge you to consider 5 questions which are very personal to you. The answers will provide you with an action plan which will ensure that you maximise the amount of 'luck' you get and the extent to which you're able to capitalise on it:

1. What is it that you'd like to do/change/happen? In other words, what is your goal?

2. What piece of 'luck' would you need in order to bring your goal closer?

3. What can you do to make that piece of luck more likely to come your way?

4. If it did happen, would you be ready for it? Is there anything you will need in place to take full advantage of it?

5. What preparations do you need to start making NOW, to be in a position to take full advantage of your piece of luck.

Gary Player once chipped in from a bunker to win a golf major. A nearby Journalist said to him "How lucky can you get Gary"! Gary replied "Yes it was and the funny thing is the more I practice the luckier I seem to get"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mark.

October 17, 2005

Life: Lost the Plot

It seems that not a day goes by without some sniveling new labour liberal coming up with ever more political correctness in order to justify his/her job!

Check out the latest from the UK

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun! Certainly mad ehh!

Mark.

October 7, 2005

Life: God and Politics!

Apprarently Dubya has a hotline to God of all people! Funny but in England we call hearing voices schizophrenia! Religion and politics hmm what a dangerous mix that is ehhh!

Would it be to much to ask of God, that once and for all time he stand up and tell us all who he actually supports!

Mark.

September 27, 2005

Life: Who do you think you're looking at?

This Caught my Eye as I scanned the morning news. Political correctness (how I loathe that word) and bureaucracy gone mad. The UK seems to be good at both these things and not much else these days :(

I guess it puts a whole new spin on the Glaswegian phrase

"Who do you think your looking at Jimmy"

Mark.

September 25, 2005

Life: Miserable Failure

It seems that America is not the only nation to have a miserable failure as leader! We in the UK have our very own Tony Blair :(

Blair U Turns on Global Warming

Mark.

August 25, 2005

Life: Im Married :)

Well im back! Bet you missed me huh? I must admit to chomping at the bit to get to my Blog whilst I was in the Costa del Sol ha ha. I realy did have a holiday and didnt log online once in 3 weeks!

Anyway back now to a million emails, a million new jobs and 2 million comment spams :( Lots to tell you this week so keep an eye out.

Mark.

July 28, 2005

Life: Marriage Looms!

Yes my marriage to her inddors looms ever closer :) On august the 6th I will cease to be a free man and become yet another shackled man answering to my wifes every need :) I wonder if I will still be allowed to go motor racing!

Mark.

PS
Things will be a tad quite around here for a few weeks as I am certainly NOT blogging whilst on my honeymoon :) Still you never know ehh I am a hardened blogger :)

July 15, 2005

Life: Nobby the Tramp

Near to where I live there is a bus shelter that has had a tramp living in it for over 10 years! I have mentioned him before in my Blog as we pass him sometimes when we go for lunch.

Anyway yesterday I had to laugh as he has decided to place some potted plants on the pavement outside the shelter! For some reason this just makes me laugh so much! I am going to take a picture today at lunch so you can see what I mean :)

Mark.

July 8, 2005

Life: Terrorists and tsetse flies

My sympathys and condolances go out to all that have suffered in London yesterday due to the latest terrorist attack to plaugue Human society.

Why the tsetse fly reference? That's what Terrorists are! Just as tsetse flies annoy and occasionally kill some of the members of a herd of wilderbeasts the herd marches on and indeed lives on. Human society marches on too. The majority always has its way and at the moment the majority of us want peace and security in our lives!

The flies are a buzzing annoyance to the majority of the herd. Terrorists will never achieve anything on the world scene and in that sense they are failures one and all.

Mark.

June 23, 2005

Life: My Drug of choice and how NOT to use it!

So there I am with my steaming Nescafe Cappuccino on my desk happily reading through my emails for the morning. The phone rings and I casually reach across to grab it catching the top of my mug with my hand. The mug does a slow motion pirouette (no shit) speeds up in its oscillation and happily dumps its (full) contents all over my BRAND NEW logitech Di Novo soft keyboard, multimedia bluetooth pad, desk, mouse and mouse mat :( Not to mention assorted paperwork and documents.

Now don't those moments just piss you off huh? I spent the next 2 hours stripping it all apart and cleaning every key and component with some alchohol cleaner. Thankfully upon putting it all back together it not only works but I dont have a sticky key in sight :) Ah the wonders of Alchohol ehh

Mark.

PS
Anyone got a mug that if you drop it nothing comes out?

June 8, 2005

Life: Business and Money. A hippys approach!

Hi Guys

I have a trackback convo underway with Aussie Netsuite That seems to be heading the way of Business Morals. Actually I do agree very much with This Post.

However, Business is about making money and nothing else. Man that's a bold statement eh! If it was'nt we would do it for free wouldnt we? I would be an artist or scuplter! Now dont get me wrong here! If we can do our business in such a way as for it to be holistic and moral and still make money then all the better for the world and those around us. In that sense I see business as all about the money.

BUT, the best business model to my mind puts service, morals and holistic approach above and before making money. Interestingly enough this approach often leads to making more money anyway! I always new Deepak was right about currency and the flow of it :) It's a universal law that the greedy never get :) The more you give the more you recieve. So simple ehh and yet so difficult to grasp my the many!

When I was a hippy living in Cornwall philosphising each day how we could change the world and universe :) The overiding factor was that we were skint and so could do very little! Jesus himself said give to the poor not join them in their poverty. One can only give if one has the means to do it. My dream is to make more money so I can give more away and as such I want to be more successfull at my business and an aspect of measuring that success is the amount of money we make.

Mark...

PS

One of the main reasons I am "off centre" is because I give away for FREE knowledge and information that other marketers charge thousands for!

June 7, 2005

Life: Very Sad News..

Cory Rudl has died in a car accident. This just emphasizes to me how fragile our lives are and why we must embrace each and every moment to it's fullest.

Corey (in case you didnt know) was one of the worlds leading internet marketers and also the one that got me interested in internet marketing in the first place! My condolances to your family and friends Corey. Although I did'nt know you personally your life did indeed touch mine in many ways and I thankyou for that.

Mark...

April 15, 2005

Life: Wimpy Parents!

I heard on the news today that rather a lot of parents have phoned the BBC to complain that Dr Who is too scary for their poor little children :(

When I was a kid and watched it we used to hide behind the sofa (no joke) BUT we did'nt wet the bed or have nightmares either. I am sure these types of parents make there kids neurotic by being so themselves! My God how did the kids during world war two cope? The sofa they hid behind was likley to get bombed!

Mark...

March 7, 2005

Life: Sun Shades

Does anyone know why it is deemed important to raise the sun shade on an airplane when coming in to land? I am always getting asked to do this and as yet have never been given a reason as to why?

Is it because if we crash we can all look out and see the ground rushing up to embrace us at 500 mph and thus feel better!

Mark...

February 16, 2005

Life: A Cold :(

Yep I have a cold :( So I feel mighty sorry for myself at the moment. Lots to do and my head is full of muzzy mush. Lets hope I can kill it quick and get back to normal.

Mark...

February 11, 2005

Life: A Tinbashers Lot!

I was over at Tinbasher today and the licky git has been nominated for Best Small Business blog! I get the bloody Peakcock award and a donkey jacket wearing sheet metal fabricator from Lancashire gets Best Small Business! No justice in this world :)

Still Paul does remind me of an old Blacksmith friend of mine called Dave Knight. A more eccentric chap you could'nt wish to meet, perpetual half smoked unlit roll up in the corner of his mouth and a keen member of the sealed knot for whom he makes swords amongst other things :)

I remember one day down at Daves Forge whilst we were warming ourselves he suddenly blurted out "Wheres me Fu++++** hammer"? Ah Agamutu has had it again he raged. "Agamutu" I said! 'Yeh he's the god of borrowing things! Only thing is he forgets to bring the bloody things back, and then when he does he puts them in a different place to where you left it'!

Now over the years I have tinkered with cars and bikes and now karts and I have to admit that the times I have put a spanner down only for it to DISSAPEAR is beyond counting. Then voila just when you reach boiling point and have completed stripping the whole car, there it is right on top of the air filter all the time. Now you know and I know that you did indeed not only look on the air filter but also stripped that down too.

Daves answer is Agamutu :) He borrowed it, lent it to someone else and then while your wernt looking brought it back!

Mark...

February 7, 2005

Life: Hey YOU! Yes YOU! Stand still laddy...

I love those words from Floyds the Wall Album. They remind me of an old school teacher of mine Mr Norton! Man he used to strike the fear of God into you when he shouted from across the playground. But he was talking directly to YOU at the time, and boy did he get your attention! That's the point of this post.

Who do YOU talk to when you post on your Blog or write on your website? Are you talking to the masses! Or are you talking to the individual. If you want to be succesful with your Blog or internet business you better make damn sure that it's the individual who is reading your copy!

You need to bond with your readers and the only way to do that is to talk to YOU! Yes YOU laddy :)

Mark...

January 31, 2005

Life: A battle with Cancer!

I have been following Ivans Struggle with cancer over Here for quite some time now. It saddens me that he has written his Final Post

He made me reflect once again (as he always does) on my life and my worrys. I conclude that if you have your health then you are 90% there in life! If you have people around you that love and care for you then that's the other 10%

That's 100%! Which means there should be no room left for worrying about money, debt and all the myriad other stupid things we worry about when we havent got anything better to do!

I shall miss your musings Ivan and will think of you often.

Mark...

January 19, 2005

Life: Careers and FREE time

So my friend is on the phone to me again last night bemoaning the state of his life and career. He is a stockbroker I am an entrepreneur. He gets paid a lot to gamble with other peoples money but has no time to spend it. I have lots of FREE time to enjoy mine. 'Your so FREE' he says! 'What can I do to boost my career so I can get more freedom? Do I need to change careers? Tell me what to do Mark'?

"You don’t have a career" I tell him 'you have a JOB and your JOB is your life and this is why you have no FREE time'! "Whattt" he says! 'Of course I have a career. I went to university'! As if this somehow qualifies him :) I reply that I went to a comprehensive school and left with No qualifications at all. He spent years studying and I spent years exploring life.

'No you have a job' I tell him, 'you think you have a career but really you have a job. Now if you were a surgeon say, then I would say you had a career. Career is a term you have been brainwashed with all your life that makes your job more palatable. Some people have careers but most have jobs that they think are careers! You have a job. Whilst you think it's a career and is somehow central and progressive as it's own entity, your more likely to stay put. Once it just becomes a job you wont put up with your bosses BS anymore :) You wont work for FREE after 5 o clock :) In fact horror of horrors you might reach out and do something radical like leave'!

He regularly works FREE time you see. It's a disease in the UK this office FREE time work thing BS. It's insidious! "What Mark leaving at 5 o clock again tut tut. We have to get that report out you know". "Taking Lunch again Mark tut tut do you really have to eat? Cant you eat at your desk"? So not only does he not have a career he actually works for FREE because of the hidden office pressure that makes millions stay at their desks when in reality their days hours are done!

We have these conversations often my friend and I. These are my suggestions.

1. Dont mistake a job for a career! Some folks have great careers, some folks actually carve a career out of their job, most folks just have the job part!

2. Never work FREE time. Your life is short and your time is valuable. If your boss wants your time, charge it out at a fair rate. Be assured he wont work for FREE when it comes to billing his customers :) FREE time! That's what you give when your retired isnt it? Tea and buscuits anyone! My Mum gives FREE time in the WRVS and townswomens guild!

2. Dont be a stockbroker :) In fact dont go anywhere near the city if you want anything remotely resembling a life and some FREE time!

3. When you struggle with this concept call me :)

Mark...

January 4, 2005

Time Stand Still!

Im not looking back but I want to look around me now! Time stand still, some more of the people and the places that surround me now.

Well the new year speeds away already and I am drawn to one of my favorite tracks (again)

Time Stand Still by Rush (dont yah just love Canadians)

How's it go. Freeze this moment a little bit longer, make each sensation a little bit stronger. Experience slips away, Experience slips away! Yeh freeze this moment a little bit longer. Ah Peart your such a poet :)

Dont you ever feel that our lives are speeding by? Each year my life gets faster, or seems to. This feeling has become ever more apparent to me with the advent of the communication boom and the internet. All that information and knowledge I'm missing! I will be late if I dont grab it now! My friends and my missus have a joke about me that they are going to buy me a Sherlock Holmes smoking jacket. Have you seen the one Jeremy Brett wears in the series? The red quilted one, floor length ha ha.

They see me as an English gent with my pipe, slippers and smoking jacket moaning about how things were much better (and slower) in my day! LOL

Just the other day my friend asked me 'Hey Mark what did we do when we did'nt have mobiles or the internet'? I lived a much more relaxed life I said ha ha. We were playing Golf at the time and I religiously leave my Mobile in my car and have 4 hours of FREE time on the course and 1 hour drinking a pint in the clubhouse afterwards! My friend who is a stockbroker in the city has to take his with him (orders from his boss) So in light of this I thought I would reveal some marketing secrets to you my faithfull :)

1. There are fortunes being made on this internet of ours each day
2. Its not easy
3. Its not automatic
4. Anyone who tells you its easy and or automatic is spinning you :)
5. It takes a damned amount of hard work
6. Your work is never done
7. Your thoughts never stop, theres always a new idea to pursue
8. For as many new sites that are created each day offering you the latest secret, just as many go under that were started last year!
9. Customer service is your most important job

Can you really do it? Can you make a decent sizable living from all this cash floating around on the net? Yes you can, but please bear in mind the above 9 points before you start out on your journey :)

PS
Dont forget to comment on my FREE competition in the post below to win yourself some goodies for the new year. We have had some awesome comments already but considering my readership size I think you must all be asleep, or indeed not back from your Xmas break yet, lucky you :) Still I guess even Blogs slow down over the holiday period ha ha. Now where's that Pipe!

Mark...

December 25, 2004

Xmas and Blogging

I have been ordered by the missus to cease my Bloging activities over the xmas period :( This is a fair point I must admit!

However as the missus does not know my email program from my Movable Type application (grins) I might still get my fix over the festive season!!

Just checking my emails dear :)

Mark...

PS
A very happy xmas to all my readers no matter where you are in this world of ours..

December 17, 2004

I'm turning into John Cleese!

Hi All

I am it appears I realy am turning into John Cleese in my old age :( Im not sure if thats a good or bad thing but let me relate another tale from my mad life!

Last night a friend and I decided to sample Vienna's culinary delights :) We met up at Stephansplatz and decided to try an eatery that we hadnt been to before. All was going well until it came to the desert :( Now you see I have my peculiar ways :) and I do so like pancakes with lemon and sugar mmmmm its an English thing I know!

The menu showed crepes (pancakes) BUT they come filled with icecream :( Waiter? In my best German "ick spreken keine deutsch" ok lets try in English :)

`Could I have the crepes but without the icecream please`? he looks at me a bit strange and then says "but its not on the menu" `Yes I know I say but it is a simple matter to leave the icecream out when the chef makes them up isnt it`. `let me ask he says`. I can taste them already mmm.

The manager comes over. `Can I help you sir` `Yes please I say`. `Can I have the crepes but without the icecream I say`. He looks at the waiter and they both consult the menu. "But sir its not on the menu"! Smiling. `Yes I know its not actually on the menu but can`t you tell the chef to leave the icecream out when he prepares them`? `Let me ask the chef` the manger says.

This really did happen to me!

The chef comes out. So now I have a crowd at my table and my freind is pissing himself laughing at me :( So I ask the chef? `When you make my crepes and you get to the point that you have the icecream spoon in your hand, just quickly put it down and bring them out to me without the icecream in please` (is this so hard)

He consults with the Manager as he does not speak English too well :( "It cant be done"! they all say as its not on the menu. `Yes I know its not on the menu but cant you see how simple it is to make me happy`. "Yes but its not on the menu they all say". By this time my mate has had to leave the table because he sniggering so much (git)

At this point I realised that I have turned into John Cleese because things like this always happen to me :) I actually gave up and ordered the crepes with icecream in only to scrape it all out!

Don`t get me wrong here I do like the Austrians but in the UK the customer is always right :) Apparently not in Austria or Germany for that matter :)

If your not on the list you aint coming in! or alternativly if its not on the menu you cant have it!

Mark...

December 10, 2004

And when I feel down

I read Ivans Diary here and realize that for the moment at least, just how lucky I am with my life, my Loves and my health.

My thoughts to you Ivan

Diary of a cancer sufferer

Mark...

December 7, 2004

A typical Englishman

On Sunday it was pointed out to me how typically English I am :) Have you seen " A fish called Wanda" Where John Cleese explains how embarrasing it is to be English! Let me relate a little story from the weekend to empahsise this point.

At the weekend I caught a flight from Stansted London to Salzburg Austria at 18.25. This flight lands in Salzburg at 21.10 and the last train to Vienna leaves at 21.35 so I knew I would be cutting it very fine (been there many times)!

Anyway at 21.08 I was still in the air just about to touch ground thinking to myself about how much I love jet setting, Not! So the plane lands and thankfully Ryan air are very speedy at getting you off so they can take off again. I ran to passport control and jumped in a taxi at 21.24.

How long to the hauptbanhhof I ask? Seven mins he says, cool that gives me 3 whole mins to get to the platform. Suffice to say I made it but with a bit of running. I plonked myself in the first carriage I came across. A lot of trains in Austria have seperate compartments with a passageway along the side. Very cozy indeed. So without really looking I dive into one that is occupied by 3 middle aged women.

The 3 women where from Tyrol :) and on their way to Vienna for shopping for a week. Being from Tyrol (A mountain region in the Alps) they were of course drinking coipious amounts of home made Schnaps. Now I dont really drink much after getting Alchoholic poisening when I was a submariner (another tale)

So it begins, "here have some schanps" she says. "Oh no thanks its ok" I say. "No no you must you must drink drink" she says. At this point I thought to myself ok just have a small sip and that will be the end of it :( So I took a small sip of what must have been 70% proof homemade aftershave!!! It was like tasting my Hugo Boss! I passed it back and it went round and came back to me within 2 mins. "No no" I said "I am perfectly fine thanks" in my most perfect Cambridge accent. "No no drink drink you must you must" they all say eagerly laughing. Oh God help me I thought how can I get out of this without offending them (typically English)

At that point the ticket man appears and is dragged in (literally) and forced to drink some. I ask him if there is a restaurent car on the train. "Oh yes he says up near first class". Perfect I think to myself. "ladys I am so sorry to leave you but I realy have to go and eat. I will be back soon". Not!

Taking my book I spent the next 3 hours of the journey firmly entrenched in the restaurent car buying one drink every 40 mins :) reading my book and smiling at how typically English I am :)

Mark...

November 14, 2004

Two Buses!

The Story of Two Buses

Picture this. You're driving down the highway with your nine-year-old son. You're in the middle lane. On your right, one behind the other, are two buses. The bus in front is painted white. The bus behind is painted yellow. The bus in front has its windows painted over. The
bus behind does not.

Your son asks you a question. "What are those two buses, Daddy?" You tell him that they are two very different kinds of buses. "How are they different?" he asks. You explain that on the first bus are prisoners who are being taken to jail. On the second bus are students who are being taken to school. "But how is that different?" your son asks.
That's what I'm asking, too.

You tell your son that the men on the first bus are required to get on that bus. Then your son asks you if the students on the yellow bus have a choice in the matter. You think about it. Neither group has any choice in the matter. Somebody tells the members of both groups
that they must get on that bus and stay on that bus until the bus comes to its destination.

Your son says he doesn't understand. So, you try to make it clear to him. You tell him that the people on the white bus have committed crimes. They are bad people. They are being taken to jail. The people on the yellow bus are good people. They are being taken to school. Your son asks: "Why do they make the good people go on the bus?"
That's what I'm asking, too.

Remember, you're talking to a nine-year-old. Nine-year-olds are not very sophisticated. They need clear answers. So, you had better be prepared to provide clear answers.

You tell your son that the good people on the yellow bus are being taken to school for their own good. Your son asks if the people on the white bus are being taken to jail, but not for their own good. No, you tell him. They are being taken to jail for their own good, too. Your son asks,
"Then what's the difference?"

The difference is, you explain to your son, that the people on the white bus are very bad and society intends to make them better. Your son asks: "Is society taking the people on the yellow bus to school in order to make them worse?" No, you tell him. Society is taking them
to school in order to make them better people, too.
"Then what's the difference?"

The difference is, you explain to your son, the people on the white bus are dangerous people. In order to make society safer, society puts them in jail. The people on the yellow bus are not dangerous. "Then why are they forced to go to a place where they don't want to go?" your son asks. "Because it's good for them," you answer. "But isn't that why the people on the white bus are being taken to jail?" he asks.

You are getting frustrated. You tell your son that they're required to get on the bus because when they are young they don't know that it is a good thing for them to go to school. They don't want to go to school. But they're supposed to go to school. Your son replies that this sounds just like the people in the white bus. But they're supposed to go to jail, you tell him. It's for their own good. They're going to be better people if they go to jail.

Isn't that right? Isn't the whole idea of sending people to jail to rehabilitate them? Aren't they supposed to become better people in jail? I mean, if they aren't going to become better people, why not just sell them into slavery and use the money to pay restitution to their victims? Why build jails? Why paint buses white?

You tell your son that the bad people have to go to jail in order to keep them off the streets. The problem is, this is one of the reasons why society requires students to go to school. People want to keep the kids off the streets. They want to make certain that somebody in authority is in a position to tell the children what to do. They don't trust the children to make their own decisions. They also don't trust the criminals to make their own decisions.

This is more complicated than you thought. But you keep trying. You explain to your son that bad people must be kept from doing more bad things. Your son asks: "What are the bad things that kids do?" The light comes on. You tell your son that the children are dangerous to
themselves, but the prisoners are dangerous to everybody else. The children may hurt themselves, but the prisoners may hurt other people. But your son wants to know why it is that the children must be taken to a school in order to keep them from hurting themselves, when they can stay home and not hurt themselves.

You tell your son that it's because people are not able to stay home with their children. Your son wants to know why not. You explain that both parents have to work to make enough money to live a good life. This means that somebody has to take care of their children.
Your son wants to know why parents don't hire somebody to come into their home and take care of the children. Why don't they hire a teacher to take care of them? You explain that it is cheaper to hire one teacher to look after lots of students. Your son wants to know
why it's cheaper to send children to school when it costs money to build schools, buy buses, hire drivers, and pay for gasoline.

This is a smart kid.

You explain that the people who have children force people who do not have children to pay for the schools. Your son asks if this is the same thing is stealing. "Isn't that what the people on the white bus did?" No, you explain, it's not stealing. Your son asks, "How is it
different?" Now you have a problem. You have to explain the difference between taking money from someone to benefit yourself as a private citizen, which is what a criminal does, and taking money from someone to benefit yourself as a voter. This is not so easy to
explain.

You explain to your son that when you vote to take money away from someone so that you can educate your child, this is different from sticking a gun into somebody's stomach and telling him that he has to turn over his money to you. Your son then asks if it would be all right to stick a gun in somebody's stomach if you intended to use the money to educate your child. No, you explain, it's not the same. When you tell someone that he has to educate your child in a school run by the government it's legal. When you tell somebody that he has to educate your child in a private school, where parents pay directly to hire teachers, it's illegal.

Your son then asks you if it's all right to take money from other people just so long as you hand over to the government the money to do the things that you want the government to do. You explain that this is correct. "But what if other people don't think that the government
ought to be doing these things?" You explain that people don't have the right to tell the government not to do these things unless they can get more than half of the voters to tell the government to stop doing them. Your son sees the logic of this. He asks you: "Are the
people in the white bus being taken to jail because there were not enough of them to win the election?" You know this can't be right, but it's hard to say why it's wrong.

Here is where you are so far. Society makes the prisoners go to jail. It sees these prisoners as dangerous. It wants to teach them to obey. Society makes children go to school. It sees these children as dangerous to themselves. It wants to teach them to obey. If it can
teach both groups how to obey, society expects the world to improve. Society therefore uses tax money to pay for the operation of jails and schools. This includes paying for buses. But there is a difference. Prison buses are white. School buses are yellow.

There must be more to it than this.

So, you keep trying. Schools are run by the government to teach children how to make a living. Jails are run by the government to teach people how to stop stealing. Here is a major difference. "Do they teach prisoners how to make a good living?" your son asks. No, you tell him. The prison teaches them to obey. He asks: "Then why will they stop stealing when they get out of prison, if they don't know how to make a good living." Because, you explain, they will be afraid to do bad things any more. Your son asks if people in prison learn how to do bad things in prison. You admit that they do. "So," he asks, "we send people to prison and school so that they will learn how to make a good living? Only the difference is, the government pays for a place where bad people teach other bad people how to steal without getting caught, but in school, the government pays good people to teach children how to be good citizens and vote. So, the bad people learn how to steal from the good people without voting, and the good people learn how to steal from each other by voting. Is that how it works?"

That's how it works. Both systems use buses to take the students to school. But the colors are different.

In prison, prisoners sell illegal drugs. Students do the same in school. In prison, the food is terrible. It's not very good in school - possibly prepared by the same food service company. In prison, there are constant inspections. Guards keep taking roll to make sure everyone is present and accounted for. Teachers do the same in school. In prison, you aren't allowed to leave without permission. The same is true in school. In prison, bullies run the show. In school, they do, too. But there is a difference. Prison buses are white. School buses are yellow.

This is too extreme. The systems are different. Criminals are convicted in a court of law before they are sent to jail. Students, in contrast, are innocent. Some prisoners can get parole. The average term in prison for murder is under ten years. Students are put into the school system for twelve years. There is no parole.

Be thankful you are not in one of those buses. Either color.

Mark...

July 22, 2003

Mark Goes to Jail :(

Not very happy after my trip to French jail!,
originally uploaded by 15dn.

Thu, May 1, 2003

EXCLUSIVE printed in The Sun a UK National Daily newspaper.

Jail hell after cop gaffe

By JOHN TROUP and JUSTIN PENROSE

A BRITISH driver spent a night in a stinking French prison after being arrested for stealing a hire car he had returned FIVE MONTHS earlier.

Mark Nenadic, 38, was thrown in a cell with a cocaine smuggler and told he would be kept behind bars for at least 40 days.

But he was freed 24 hours later after the prison governor realised he was the victim of an appalling blunder by Euro cops.

Mark was arrested on the British side of the Channel Tunnel on Monday as he tried to cross to France. He was unaware a warrant had been wrongly issued for his arrest.

French cops spotted the warrant when they checked his passport and he was immediately taken to France.

Mark, from Peterborough, was interrogated for three hours and hauled before a prosecutor in Boulogne.

Then he was driven in handcuffs to 17th century Douai prison.

The telecoms analyst said: "I managed to get my mobile out in the prison van and sneakily texted my family about what was going on.

"When I got to the prison it was a filthy nuthouse full of psychopaths. It was your worst nightmare.

"I shared my cell with a cocaine smuggler who told me I'd be there at least 40 days. When I asked a guard if I could phone a lawyer he handed me a pad and said 'You're in France now, you can write'." The warrant was issued after Mark hired a car from Hertz in Graz, Austria, last year.

He extended the hire at the firm's branch in the capital Vienna and paid when he returned the car there. But staff in Graz wrongly thought the car was stolen.

They realised the mistake long before Mark's arrest and had told police to cancel the warrant.

Mark was finally freed on Tuesday morning after Hertz chiefs - alerted by his family - worked through the night to prove his innocence.

Mark, who is temporarily living in Austria, was only in Britain so he could pick up a new BMW M3 and drive it back to the continent.

He said: "I'm thinking about suing the Austrian Police for this."

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Now the rest of the story!!

Yep so I got arrested for something I didnt do and spent a day in French jail :(

Essentially what happened is this. I had flown into Austria via Graz the previous year and had rented a VW golf from hertz in Graz to drive to Vienna. When I got to Vienna I extended the hire and asked if I could drop the car off in Vienna, no probs they said.

So I merrily drove the vehicle around until xmas and then dropped it off in central Vienna. I thought no more about it and flew home for xmas. Around April of the following year (6 months later) I decided to fly home and pick up a BMW M3 cab I had just bought and then drive it back to Vienna with a friend going via the alps, a journey I love!

I flew into heathrow and was greeted by two smiling BMW salesmen with my nice shiney black M3evo mmmm how I love these moments in life! Drove home and had a nice week in the UK.

Loaded the car up and set off with Adam my friend to the channel tunnel on a nice sunny day. So there we are at passport control (French controlled) and for the first time in six months my passport is checked :( Alarm bells go off and I am whisked out of the car and into a very small room because there is a "problem" with me! My freind bless him didnt know what to do so pulled my beemer over to the side.

For four hours I sit waiting to see what the hell is going on until finally I am told I have to go over to France with them in a van to see a judge in Bolougne! Adam you will have to follow us in the beemer mate!

So we drive all the way there after taking the train with me handcuffed in the back, Gods I am such a crim! I am hauled before a judge on a bank holiday Monday who tells me that while she believes I have not stolen a rental car from hertz her hands are tied by French law and I must go to jail in Douai until Tuesday when she will try and sort it out. "be brave monsiour" were her parting words!

My god what did she mean by that little statement? is Douai the sing sing of France then? Oh yes it is!!!

On the 3 hour drive to the jail I sneakily in the back of the van texted Adam who was still at the channel tunnel (French side now) and told him to go back to the UK! I also texted my sister and bro and told them to rescue me from this evolving hell!

So I arrive at the jail. A moment I will never forget. I have done many things in my life but I have never been in a jail and it is quite sobering I can tell you. Especially when noone speaks English, So strip search, clothes taken forms photos fingerprints the whole shebang and all the while im laughing! I am quite mad and I did think it was funny, a bit monty python to be honest!

They decided to put me in a cell (thankfully) with a Dutch cocaine smuggler. MR BIG himself who actually was a very very nice guy. The cells in Douai are as basic as you can imagine and very cold even in summer! He actually offered me to start smuggling into the Uk via boat (I am an accomplished sailor) Said I could earn 5 mill a year easily! Which just goes to show that if your not a crim when you go in you might be when you come out! I politley declined.

He then told me that I could be in there for at least 40 days as France is very slow with all things prison related. Indeed your actually NOT allowed to ring anyone at all! You are given pen and paper and you can write. If you have money though you can buy yourself a better life inside!

I went to bed on a very thin sponge mattress that had seen better days with one blanket! The next day I awoke to breakfast consisting of one small piece of bread a plain youghurt and a pear :( man this place is archaic in the extreme! Still everything will be alright once the cream custard arrives :)

At about 11am I was escorted to the wardens office (who also didnt speak English) and was asked through a not very good interpreteur if I wanted to work in the Kitchens. No no you dont understand I said its all a mistake! I wont be here long, to which they laughed a lot!

Next thing a guard enters the room and just like a comedy unfolding before my very eyes gabbles something in French to the warden who says in broken English "You can go monsieur" follow this man.

So I followed him thinking this has got to be a joke, but sure enough he gave me all my clothes back and all my stuff, got me to sign a form and within 15 mins I was outside the front gate!

I couldnt beleive it and had an overwhelming sense to get away as fast as possible. I jumped on a bus that took me to the train station where I got in a taxi and asked him to take me to Calais (a 1.30 mins drive)

I arrived at Calais and dont think I have ever felt so nervous about handing my passport over! What if they havnt taken me off the database I kept thinking, they could arrest me all over again and I could get caught in some perpetual loop :( Fortunalty they didnt and I made it to the UK alright, my mate rang the Sun and other newspapers and I was inundated with offers for my story which I sold to the Sun (the best offer) my 15mins of fame :)

I didnt sue Hertz at the time although I was advised too. The head of Hertz security was intsrumental in getting me released so im told. I am however wary of car hire firms now though! Especially in Europe. I did explain at the time that if I was going to steal a hire car I wouldnt give a valid credit card and also my passport! It seems logic does not prevail in these situations though!

Mark...